I wish I was more creative. I feel like I am still stuck between a "rock & a hard place" trying to find the way to express myself. I want to be original. More original than anyone. How can some people come up with what they do? It's so amazing to me. But yet it's so simple.
I guess this is coming from a few things I've noticed recently. Like there's this Barenaked Ladies' song that came on the radio yesterday. It's called "The Old Apartment". They keep singing over & over "this is where we used to live". I love that. It makes me think of my old apartment & the feelings I had there. To explain myself more clearly... I want to make something that gives people that feeling. Some memory or sense that someone lost over the years sometimes can only be brought back a certain, specific trigger. I want to be responsible for that. That's my mission in life.
Especially because lately I have been feeling so unproductive. My weekends are a joke to most of my friends my age. Friday night, I came home & relaxed after work. Watched Whale Wars on TV (that's so horrible what those Japanese do to those whales!! & they try to say they are doing research!! Why do they need so many whales for RESEARCH! That's a dumb cover up - I can't believe they get away with that). Peter brought a girl over he met at Bonnaroo. I don't remember her name but she was nice. I was surprised to actually like this girl that Peter liked. But she was cool - a little more "hippy-er" than what I am used to. She was either taller than Peter or really close, with brown hair in a ponytail. No makeup. Tevas, shorts & a tank top. She had actually driven here Friday morning from Gainesville, Florida. I thought it was just to see Peter but of course, I should've known this wasn't the case. She actually had gotten a DUI on July 3rd, right after the Phish concert & the she missed the 4th (2nd night of the show) because of it. Sucks. Although, I am not a huge Phish fan so I wouldn't be upset about that as much as I would've been about just getting a DUI. But I'm sure plenty of Phish heads would disagree with me.... go ahead, ya'll.
So anyway, she had come here for court Friday. She was going to stay the night at our house, her & Pete, but she ended up leaving after an hour or so at our house. I think it must've been something Pete did. I don't get it. I would never want to drive 5 hours somewhere, stay for half a day, then drive 5 hours home at 8:30 at night to get back at 1 or 2 in the morning.
Following our brief encounter with Peter's wannabe lover, we went out to Los Reyes with Jaclyn. Had a few margaritas. We met some woman who was celebrating her 38th birthday with her 2 girlfriends. They were loud, to say the least. There was nothing more after that worth talking about until Sunday.
Sunday, yesterday, we went to Kevin's Mom's house to celebrate Kevin's birthday with that side of the family a few days early. Suprise - Kev's Mom is engaged! Weird. I mean, don't get me wrong. I am happy for her. But now, there are 4 people engaged all at the same time - my mom, Kev's mom, Kev's sis, & me. I feel like everyone is stealing my thunder. All of them have been engaged before too. This is my first & only time & I have to share it with the world. I had never expected that whenever I thought of my engagement. The thing that sucks is that I want everyone to be paying most attention to me & helping me plan my wedding but they are all planning their own! So I sort of feel like I am at alone. I don't know. Maybe that's dumb but I just pictured it differently.
